


the best love is insane

by ghostrider



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Internet Friends AU, M/M, a lot of fluff, um a lot of cursing, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-03 23:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1759503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostrider/pseuds/ghostrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Zayn is the nerd who is too into his books to care about the world. But then, he meets a stranger online and their mutual love for Justin Timberlake grows into something unexpected yet utterly beautiful.</p><p>(basically a ziam internet friends au.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the best love is insane

**Author's Note:**

> basically, i wanted to read a ziam internet friends au, so i wrote one. zayn is the geek in this one as well, because that's just too real. and the boys are still in school. 17/18 years old. louis is 19. there are time lapses, there are technical mistakes. but there is a lot of fluff, and liam feels! so i apologize for everything. enjoy x :)
> 
> title is taken off the song ‘what you wanted’ by one republic.

He has read many people say how the last five minutes of school feel like the longest hours of their lives, he has even seen a few fifty memes about it on the internet, but now for the first time it is happening to him and he strongly begs to differ. The last five minutes of school don’t feel like the “longest hours of one’s life”, they feel like a fucking eternity. And when you have something important to look forward to, it seriously feels like school is never going to end.

It shouldn’t really be a surprise as to how Zayn is experiencing this kind of thing for the first time in forever, since Zayn is well, as Louis would say, _“not very normal, actually seriously fucking abnormal”_. That too not because Zayn is mentally retarded or has some sense of his missing, but only because Zayn likes things that Louis doesn’t and this bugs Louis because,

_  
“we are best friends zayn and we need to like the same things and do the same things and you need to be seen around with me in parties but no you just don’t get enough of these books full of utter gibberish. there will come a day, i tell you when people are going to think we are no more, and then you will regret choosing books over me.”_

_“lou i don’t know how to break this to you, but we are not dating, we are best friends.”_

_louis bursts out with laughter nearly falling off the couch, “wow i wouldn’t date you if you were the last guy on this earth. get over yourself.”_

_“ah, my life just lost all its meaning,” he replies dramatically from where he is sprawled aimlessly on the carpet._

_“since i happen to know that an individual’s ability to come up with sarcastic remarks is directly proportional to the amount of time that’s passed since they last got laid, i am going to ignore that and move on.”_

_“let me first digest the fact that you actually said the words ‘directly proportional’. you actually pay attention in class? well, i didn’t know that about you.”_

_“you would know if you paid any attention to me. your one and only best friend, your one and only friend!”_

_“niall is my friend.”_

_“yes! because niall is everybody’s friend, everybody likes niall! so niall doesn’t count!”_

_“louis listen-”_

_“okay now you’ve got that serious voice on-”_

_“-i hate people. honestly it takes every ounce of tolerance in my body to handle you and niall- _”__

___“-and you’re probably going to tell me how you love me and you have no idea why- _ _”___ _ _

____“ _ _ _-______ and that is only, and trust me on this, only because i love you both and i swear i don’t know how or why. _ _”___

_“-and you’re probably going to tell me how you love me and you have no idea why- oh yeah there it is- _”_ _

____“_ -_so yeah, stop bugging me, or else get out of my house. _ _”___ _

_____“_ -___yadi yadi yah- wait a minute! you mean **my** house?”_

_“but i thought we were best friends and what is mine is yours, what is yours is mine? you just keep breaking my heart, don’t you?”_

_“you are fucking impossible.”_

_“don’t act like you don’t think that’s my best quality.”_

_“that is your only quality which can also qualify as an explanation as to why we are still friends.”_

  
…yeah so maybe that explains why Zayn is “seriously fucking abnormal” and also what kind of a relationship he shares with Louis. Till date, Zayn hasn’t been able to figure out why Louis is in his life. All he knows is this: he had hated Louis the first day the boy walked into class, he had cursed under his breath, a very intentionally audible _fuck no_ when Mr. Gerard partnered him and Louis to write book reports together, and Louis had heard it and he had fucking replied with an equally meaningful _fuck no to you too_.

Then they had found themselves in the library; Zayn because library was the only place he actually liked on campus and Louis because he was new and knew no one. **Yet.** (who knew two years from then louis would be the captain of football team and singlehandedly one of the most wanted and unattainable guys on campus) (and who knew he would become somebody who zayn could do anything anything for, except (1) dating or sleeping with people louis chose for him during the some hundred thousand parties he attended and (2) attending those parties).

Anyway, they had found themselves in the library, and Louis had seen Zayn pull out a cigarette and light it. He saw how the library attendant, a middle aged lady in a blouse too tight and lipstick too dark, had asked him not to and how he had smirked at her, his gaze turning from uninterested to somewhat smoldering in like two seconds and the lady just shamelessly blushed and nodded, signaling how he could continue. And well, Louis was damn well impressed. He had gone on and asked for a smoke himself, and was already forming a comeback in his head when Zayn gave him a look that clearly said _really?_ but that comeback, whatever it was, was never revealed because Zayn slid the cigarette pack towards him with the lighter. Not a word was shared between the two, as they chose the books of their own choice (or to be honest, Zayn of his own choice and Louis the book lying closest to him) and got to work.

Zayn was a reader. He had flipped a somewhat fifty pages of “ _The Great Gatsby_ ” while Louis was still trying to decipher a word on the tenth page of “ _Pride and Prejudice_ ”. And Louis had not wanted to make a bad impression on Zayn or he would have seriously thrown the book at somebody’s face and walked out. And Louis Tomlinson giving a shit about what somebody thinks of him, well that is saying something. It didn’t take much time for sharing cigarettes to turn into small talk over books which turned into combined study sessions which turned into laughter over episodes of “ _Family Guy_ ” and soon, more than soon actually, they were driving to school together in Louis’ mum’s compact SUV. To everybody’s surprise (including zayn’s), Zayn Malik had a friend.

Some football jocks had tried making fun of him by starting a rumor of him and Louis being in a relationship, and Zayn had no fucks to give about that whatsoever but Louis, well Louis was not one to be a victim of ridicule and be okay with it. But with his size, he also couldn't take those jocks down. So he fucking tried out for the football team instead, got selected, ended up as team captain in about a month and managed to shut everybody up pretty magnificently. Needless to say, the rumors died down pretty fast since nobody wanted to be in the captain's bad books. That was when Zayn realized that yes, Louis was the only best (and the only worst) decision he had made in high school.

Niall came into his life a little after Louis won his first game as captain. No actually Niall was technically in his life before that as well since he had obviously tried to talk to Zayn one time, and Zayn was not a much of a fan of things as bright and shiny and loud and happy as Niall Horan, so he had politely excused himself and walked away, missing Niall’s beaten expression completely. But he actually became a part of his life was when he somehow became best buds with Louis. The reason for being given that kind of a position in Louis Tomlinson’s life (a position which until then only Zayn Malik had had the honor to hold) was this: Niall had helped Louis kick some racist bastard’s ass who was having a go at Zayn for no evident reason. And when somebody helps you kick ass, no matter what the consequence, there’s a good 96% chance that you end up being friends with them. Example; Louis and Niall. And Zayn.

So now, as his friends, Zayn has the very outgoing, very mischievous (almost devious) Louis who keeps on pushing him to be more social. And the very cheerful, very loud and very exuberant Niall. They are special to Zayn, very special indeed, because they make him happy. And not a lot of things have managed to do that.

At the current moment however, Zayn doesn’t think anything can make him happier than the ringing of the school bell. How is it not 2pm yet, he doesn’t know. Normally, he’d be very excited to listen to what Mr. Gerard has to say about what “ _To Kill A Mockingbird_ ” says about the society. Fuck the society for all Zayn cares, he just needs to get home. He just-

A small ball of paper is thrown over his head, landing neatly on his desk and the messy way it has been rolled up and the precision it has been thrown with _speaks_ Louis. Since he has nothing better to do than tap his pencil on the desk, he picks up the ball and unrolls it.

**_wtf r u so impatient about_ **

Zayn is scribbling the answer on the paper when the god damn bell rings and, fucking finally! He pushes everything in his bag, ignoring whatever Mr. Gerard is saying and is out of his seat before Louis can have the chance to jump on his desk and interrogate him. He can do that while they’re driving home. Unsurprisingly, Louis is right behind Zayn as he makes his way through the crowd of teenagers he doesn’t care about. Maybe it’s the swiftness in Zayn’s gait or the eagerness in the way he way he moves that keeps Louis’ questions on hold until they manage their way to the SUV. With the addition of Niall now, who had probably joined them somewhere in between.

Once they're seated in the SUV, in their respective places; Louis behind the steering wheel, Niall at the back and Zayn in the passenger seat, does Louis voice his inquiries.

“So, you gonna explain?”

Niall just moves forward, poking his head from between the front seats, to be included in the conversation.

“Can you please start driving already, first?” is Zayn's response.

“Since you said please,” Louis says, turning the key in ignition.

“Is he okay?” Niall whispers in Louis' ear, loud enough for Zayn to hear.

“It's the time of the month, I am guessing,” Louis whispers back, again loud enough for Zayn.

Zayn snorts.

“Or it could be the IM boy also,” Niall murmurs back.

“He has a name you know, and I can hear you both,” Zayn says, agitated.

“You were meant to, you wanker,” Niall says, rolling his eyes like Zayn actually is _that_ stupid.

“Yeah we just don't say his name because you turn into a radish when we do and I swear I'd rather stare at Niall's bottom than look at you blush like a girl, no offense,” Louis explains.

“My bum is pretty fucking fine, Tommo,” Niall protests.

“I'll believe that when you beat the finesse of mine,” Louis asks.

“Jesus Christ,” grumbles out loudly, “Are you seriously fucking comparing your butts?”

“Obviously you'd say that since you don't have one,” Louis says, as he makes one very swift turn, causing Zayn to bump into the car door and Niall to curse heavily, “You are jealous, we get it. I'm sorry we won't talk about butts anymore.”

Zayn mumbles something under his breath to which Louis responds by coming back to his inquiry, “So is it the IM boy who's got you all worked up today?”

“Yeah okay, yeah,” Zayn replies.

“And?” Louis asks, making the last turn.

“He had his basketball trial today,” Zayn says, “He has been practicing all past month, I hope he got into the team, I hope he did oh dear god.”

“Boring,” Niall chirps, leaning back into his seat, “I thought they were going to sext today or finally skype today or something.”

“Shut up Niall, you won't understand.”

“Instant messenger? Hell yes, I won't understand! We are people from the future Zayn, we use the likes of whatsapp and f-”

Niall doesn't get to finish because the moment Louis parks the car in front of Zayn's house, Zayn is sprinting out from the car in a flash, without a simple ‘goodbye’ or a ‘later’ but that's very okay since the three boys are at a point in their friendship where ‘byes’ and ‘hellos’ aren't necessities anymore.

Once inside, Zayn shuts the door behind him and rushes towards the stairs that lead up to his room. His mom and sisters won't be back from work until three and his father is on a business trip to Florida (but then he is always on a business trip to somewhere) so thankfully there is no family to meet and greet before he can check his IMs.

He makes a beeline for his laptop, dropping his bag on the floor and kicking off his shoes as he presses the power button. He shuts the room door while the laptop switches on, finally showing the password screen. He's half lying on the bed, on his stomach, proposed up on his elbows as he types his password, and waits for the desktop to appear.

Zayn literally feels his palms sweat when and his heart beat rush as a wave of nervousness crashes down on him. It's like _he_ was the one trying out for the team, it's like he's going to check if _he_ made it, it's like it's _his_ dream instead of Liam's. He is silently praying, hoping that Liam has made it, that Liam got selected.

His messenger connects. There are four loud beeps, he clicks the small icon that is accompanied by a tiny yellow four on top. A window pops open, his heartbeat halts for a moment as he reads the four messages from Liam:

(1:30 pm)  
**bigdaddypayno:** zayyynnn zayyynn

 **bigdaddypayno:** I MADE ITTT!!!!! IM IN THE TEAM BABEE :')))))

 **bigdaddypayno:** i cant beleive this :))) i wil be out with rest of the team until evenng :D

 **bigdaddypayno:** i cant beleive im goin out with the team jesus christ can u beleiv it! :D

Zayn's face is hurting because he is smiling so hard, as he reads the messages thrice to make sure he's reading properly. He is so happy for Liam, he is so proud of Liam, he just can't explain, he doesn't think anybody will be able to understand even if he does.

Smiling like a lunatic at the screen, he quickly types out the replies, and hits send.

(2:25 pm)  
_**badboystark:** i knew u wud kill it li ! congrats babe!! :)))_

_**badboystark:** msg me when you get home, i want all the details! I hope u enjoy with ur new team! Xx_

_**badboystark:** yes i can believe it i always knew u cud do it :* xxx_

_**badboystark:** ur the best :)_

  
Zayn waits five minutes staring at the messages, hoping that Liam would be back now and would come online but he doesn't. Giving up, he shuts the laptop down and falls back into his bed, closing his eyes as he finally lets himself relax.

—-

Thing is, Zayn isn't a fan of dating. He's had his fair share of people to go out with it; about two girls and four boys almost, but neither of them felt.. _right_ or even remotely 'okay' to begin with.

The first girl, Thia they used to call her, was his classmate in the eighth grade. She was the brightest girl in class, and was fairly pretty too, with her golden locks and rosy cheeks. Zayn had asked for her help in Geography, the only subject he sucked badly at, and she had shyly agreed. They kissed in the library, just lips on lips, over the map of Africa. Within two days, she had told the entire school she had kissed him and within three days, Zayn had asked her to please fuck off but in other less explicit words that he can't remember now. All he recalls is that he was so disappointed that he didn't date for another whole year after Thia.

The second girl; Perrie. Again a blonde, big eyes that had Zayn's head spinning. She was 14 and he, 16. He likes to refer to her as his 'summer love', even though there was no love involved. She was a relative of his neighbor's and had come to stay during vacation. He'd gone to drop something off, she'd opened the door. And... well. They kissed sitting in the back porch of Zayn's house. This time there was tongue. And Zayn felt like throwing up afterwards. He tried kissing her again, thinking maybe he was sick or not in the mood the first time. Their first date was in the park, he kissed her against the tree, and it didn't feel right. He blamed it on the tree. More dates, more kisses, Zayn was right about sure he wasn't a good kisser. Plus her hand, her hand was like spider's web around his. It didn't fit, it made him feel icky. Then summer ended, Perrie went away. And he didn't miss her at all. If he thinks about it today, maybe it was his "relationship" with Perrie that lead him to think about giving seeing boys a try. For that, thank you Perrie.

Max; first boyfriend. He was just there for like three months maybe, teaching Zayn stuff Zayn didn't know. Max was his experiment, or maybe it was the other way round. Nevertheless, Max was just a fling, so maybe he doesn't even count. But he did do one thing, that boy, he did confirm Zayn's sexuality for him. So yeah, big shout out to Max too.

Then came Zac. Son of a bitch. Zayn met him at a football game that obviously Louis had dragged him to. Zac was really really really very gorgeous, with these almond shaped blue eyes and hair that fell all over the place. And his ass, god damn, even Louis tried to get into his pants. What Zayn didn't know before agreeing to go out with him was this; he was only there for the sex. Also, only to take. Not to give. Fucking asshole. He had even hit Zayn once, because Zayn had refused to sleep with him. And Zayn had literally set his entire bed on fire with his lighter, bolting right out of his house leaving him to deal with it (Louis had been so proud of him for doing that.) That had been one hell of an escape.

Cameron had used him to get in Niall's pants. When Niall found out, he had punched Cameron square in the jaw, before flipping him off and telling him to stay the fuck away from him and his friends. End of story.

So. The thing is, Zayn hates dating. He hates to believe in people. To get caught in the web of cleverly spun lies. He is doing pretty okay with his friends, he doesn't think he can afford to trust more people.

But Liam.

Liam is an entirely different story. And here are some very important facts about him:  
(1) He believes in Liam.  
(2) He trusts Liam with his life.  
(3) He's never met Liam.  
(4) He wants Liam to become a permanent part of his life.  
(5) He wants to fall in love with Liam.  
(6) He _is_ falling in love with Liam.  
(7) Or maybe (6) had been achieved a long time ago.

It's absurd how a stranger he met over the internet can mean so much to him. He seriously means it when he says he doesn't know how Liam even happened to him. No exaggeration.

His first conversation with Liam though, that he remembers. He remembers every minute of that day. It had gone _exactly_ like this:

He was bored and was on the verge of losing his sanity since nobody was home and school was off and Louis and Niall were away on vacation and he had read all the new books and comics his mom had bought him, so out of the blue he had logged in his messenger that he had made an account on about five years ago.

Needless to say, his messenger was filled with spam messages. Zayn scrolled down ignoring useless messages titled “hi there xx” or “Marvel Offers – get 50% discounts!! SUBCRIBE!” or “u luk so cute! add me if bored” and other shit that made him snort or chuckle. Then there was one message, somewhere at the very bottom, that caught Zayn’s eye. Not because it was an interesting message or anything but because, the person was online. _Fucking online_ on the most outdated messaging application of all time that Zayn was sure nobody bothered to even use anymore. Zayn clicked the message open. It had been sent about three and a half years ago.

(2:30 am)  
**bigdaddypayno:** omg hrry i jst boght d new jstin timberlake albm its amaazzzinnggg

 **bigdaddypayno** : im starstrukkkkk hes so amazng man

(3:45 am)  
**bigdaddypayno** : umm uh this is a little awkward i sent you the wrong msgs sorry :(

 **bigdaddypayno** : i ment to send them to my frnd harry… um i am so sorry :((

“What a dork!” Zayn had thought, the way this person typed almost gave Zayn eye cancer. And maybe it’s an indication as to how bored Zayn was that he decided to actually reply to this guy, just for fun. Even if it had been three years since the messages had been sent, oh well.

(4:45pm)  
_**badboystark** : its okay man !_

_**badboystark** : btw justin timberlake is absolutely sick !!_

The clock ticked twice and then,

_bigdaddypayno is typing…_

**bigdaddypayno** : umm excse me do i know u?

_**badboystark** : uhm u sent me these msgs i guess_

Zayn copy-pasted the messages Liam had sent him three years ago in the message box, hitting send. It took a minute for ‘bigdaddypayno’ to reply.

 **bigdaddypayno** : ohhhhhhhhhh hahah dat defntly sounds liek me i dnt evn remmbr snding that sory again tho

_**badboystark** : its ok u sent it 3 years ago_

_**badboystark** : so have you given the 20/20 experience a listen ?_

_bigdaddypayno is typing…_

**bigdaddypayno** : R U KIDDNG ME?

 **bigdaddypayno** : THATS LIKE D BEST ALBM EVR!!!!!!

 **bigdaddypayno** : HE JST F***ING KILLD IT IN THIS 1

And Zayn had automatically smiled at the asterisks as his fingers worked on the keyboard.

_**badboystark** : yes he’s absolutely the man ! big fan of his voice !_

_**badboystark** : any favorite song off the album ?_

**bigdaddypayno** : u tell frst

_**badboystark** : i asked first_

**bigdaddypayno** : if i go first ull just cheat mine :p

_**badboystark** : how do i know if ull not cheat mine ? :p_

**bigdaddypayno** : i dont cheat :(

 **bigdaddypayno** : but ok v go togthr on d count of 3?

_**badboystark** : done !_

**bigdaddypayno** : 1

_**badboystark** : 2_

**bigdaddypayno** : 3

_**badboystark** : mirrors :)_

**bigdaddypayno** : mirrors

And that is how easily Zayn had gotten sucked into the irresistible world of Liam Payne. The mutual love for Justin Timberlake had just been the beginning of their “mutual loves”. Soon they were discussing comics and whether Tony Stark was better than Bruce Wayne. They told each other their names after a month of chatting about Kendrick Lamar tracks and how David Beckham possibly could not be a real human being. Their friendship grew, and for about two and a half months Zayn successfully managed to keep Liam his little secret.

Only Zayn had forgotten that when Louis is your best friend, you are not allowed to keep secrets. So one fine day when Zayn came out of the bathroom after taking a bath, clad in his towel only, he nearly had a heart attack to find Louis and Niall lying on his bed going shamelessly through his laptop.

“WHAT THE-” Zayn nearly shouted but was stopped short when Louis announced, “Bigdaddypayno huh? You have been sexting with a porn star behind our backs, I knew something was up!!!”

“I didn’t know you were that desperate mate,” Niall added, shaking his head in disfavor.

Zayn knew there was no way to turn this around or to change the subject so he just grunted and moved to reach his clothes that he had previously thrown on the bed. Louis, that evil asshole, was faster. He grabbed Zayn’s clothes before he could reach them and, “No. First you explain this, then you get the clothes. And don’t you dare go running back to your closet because my man Niall here knows how to tackle people on the ground and rid them of their towels. The choice is yours, now.”

The fact that Zayn wasn’t even surprised at the proposition would be a sign of how well he knew Louis Tomlinson.

“He is not a porn star, he’s just an internet friend.”

“So you don’t like making friends in real life, but you like bonding with complete strangers over the internet?”

“The internet happens to be realer than actual life for me, Louis. Also, Liam is by far the sweetest kindest guy I have ever met. Both in actual life, and online.”

“Oh, so we are on first name basis already and I didn’t know,” Louis said, “Ah the sweet smell of utter betrayal!”

“So you’ve been sexting since when?” Niall asked.

“We haven’t been sexting, Niall!” Zayn replied.

“Then what have you been doing?”

“Talking.”

“That’s singlehandedly the biggest load of crap I have heard my entire life!”

“Lou, can I have my clothes back now?”

“No no we are not done here yet,” Louis responded, “So his name is Liam. And he is your internet friend, and the sweetest kindest person you have ever met. Hm, so he's sweeter and kinder than me and you have met him and you didn’t tell me that either, this just keeps getting more painful doesn’t it Niall?”

“No, I haven’t met him. I’d tell you if I had,” Zayn confided. (really he would have.)

“WHAT?” Niall and Louis asked in unison.

“Yeah.”

“What if he is a fucking rapist?” Niall asked.

“Or worse, what if he has green eyes and curly hair??” Louis asked.

“He doesn’t have green eyes or curly hair Louis,” Zayn told him.

“Nobody does,” Niall said, “Y’need to stop waiting for your dream boy Tommo and start a real relationship with somebody who is not made up in your mind.”

Louis flicked Niall in the forehead at that, “How rude, Niall!”

“He is right you know,” Zayn added, “Have we ever met someone with green eyes and curly hair?”

“You too Brutus!” Louis commented dramatically, throwing Zayn’s clothes at him, “I’ll have you both know, that my Mr. Curly Green Eyes is out there somewhere. And he is going to come, and my life is going to be amazing. So stop being jealous!”

“Jealous of y’being in search for a guy who probably doesn’t exist?” Niall asked.

“You are an asshole, Horan.”

“I am bein’ realistic.”

“Look at Zayn’s dick though, how real is that?”

“Suck it,” Zayn grumbled.

“Does “bigdaddypayno” know you’ve got such a dirty mouth on you?” Louis asked, “Have you shared dick pics yet?”

“We haven’t even shared face pics yet,” Zayn said before he could stop himself, as he pulled up his pants.

“WHAT?” Niall and Louis, again.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?” Louis asked.

“He’s definitely a rapist!” Niall concluded.

“You must have skyped though right? Or facebooked? Or anything that confirms that he isn’t a 50 year old pedophile?” Louis inquired.

“We haven’t.”

“Zaynn!!!”

And Zayn had had about enough, “Guys, listen-”

“Lecture comin’ up,” Niall said, “Thank you for that Louis.”

Louis responded with face palming him while Zayn continued, “-Liam is the realest thing I have felt in a long time okay? I like talking to him, he makes me happy! Like you guys do! And you guys are still in my life for particularly that reason, and so Liam stays too. And he is not a fucking rapist Niall, he is 17 only! And he doesn’t lie, look at his messages, just look how fucking genuine he is!”

“Nice speech Z, but really, there is a 75% chance he isn’t who he says he is,” Niall said.

“Then I would like to believe in the remaining 25% where he actually is who he says he is.”

“That’s just plain stupid, and _you_ cannot be this stupid,” Louis commented.

“You are one to talk!!! The chances of a guy being out there with green eyes and curly hair, that also precisely brown, could be zero to nil! And yet, you don’t get into relationships waiting for him! What if one day you actually meet a guy like that, what if he turns out to be a fucking rapist? What then?”

Louis stared at Zayn for a moment or two before saying, “Fair enough.”

“You're seriously giving up that easily?” Niall looked at Louis in surprise, and it took a moment for Zayn to digest that Louis had actually just let it go.

“Really? You are actually letting this go?” Zayn had to ask, he had to make sure.

“Yeah. Now put your shirt on, let’s go grab a bite. All this grilling makes me hungry. Life would have have been hell lot of easier if you both told me stuff yourself,” Louis said, shutting the laptop down and getting up from the bed.

“But Louis…” Niall said. Zayn remained rooted to the spot, Louis never let anything go that easily.

“Niall, this is the first time I have seen this guy defensive or excited about something other than his rotten books,” Louis explained to the confused guy, “I guess it a nice change. Now do you two owls want to eat or not?”

And that was it, Louis was out the door leaving Zayn and Niall to stare at his disappearing form. Zayn couldn’t decide if he was more glad or shocked by Louis’ behavior. Niall however, wasn’t satisfied by anything. For before Zayn put on his shirt and they left the room together to follow Louis, this is what Niall said to him,

“I swear if “bigdaddywhatever” turns out t’be a fucking rapist or some thirty two year old or even some girl playing with your feelings, I will kill’em.”

“You can,” Zayn assured Niall.

And that is precisely how Louis and Niall got to know about Liam, and the era of teasing and annoying Zayn at every moment in time had started.

A day didn't pass without messaging Liam, even after five and six months they were messaging nonstop, back and forth, almost all the time. He got completely glued to his laptop, to an extent where his sisters made fun of him being in a relationship with it. He just ignored them, because Liam's messages were there; arriving one after another, widening his smile with every little beep.

They never exchanged numbers, or even pictures, it just never came up. Maybe, in some weird sort of way, it was more comfortable in not really knowing each other's appearances. Maybe, they were afraid as to who actually might be on the other side. Zayn didn't think he wanted to know, he liked the ‘idea’ of Liam. He liked the image of Liam in his head that he had made up putting together the few little things Liam had told him about his appearance himself (‘ _brown eyes, okay hair, big nose that i'm not very fond of_ ’) and he knew Liam played basketball so he was probably tall. And maybe with a bit of muscle on too.

Louis, that nosy asshole, had told Zayn, real early, that he was probably in deep shit since he was definitely in love with his IM boy. And he should seriously do something about it before it gets worse. Problem was; Zayn was a bit too shy, and very fucking nervous to make the first move. He didn't want to ruin this. He needed Liam and to risk whatever he had with Liam was completely out of question. So, they managed to remain ‘just friends’ well into the seventh month of messaging each other day and night.

And then, they weren't ‘just friends’ anymore. That happened a little like this:

(9:11 pm)  
_**badboystark** : hey sorry for replying so late just came back from school_

_**badboystark** : and yes the presentation went well i ended up getting an A ! Mr. Gerard said the poem was absolutely amazing_

_**badboystark** : i wish i could tell him it was amazing because it was about you :P_

_bigdaddypayno is typing..._

**bigdaddypayno** : y did u come back so late ? its 9!

 **bigdaddypayno** : nd thnk u :) u flatter me :))

_**badboystark** : i am class president so i had to stay back till the last presentation_

_**badboystark** : then had to help Mr. Gerard wrap everything up_

_**badboystark** : you won't believe this he made me n louis carry the projector all the way to the rec room_

_**badboystark** : then louis tried to convince me to come to a party with him_

**bigdaddypayno:** hw vry typical of louis :p

_**badboystark** : yeah anyway i said no and then getting him to drop me back home took extra 15 mins so yeah_

_**badboystark** : that is why i just got home rn :) _

**bigdaddypayno** : y dint u go 2 d party?

_**badboystark** : i don't think i have the energy in me to even stand atm ! can't feel my legs or my shoulders !_

_**badboystark** : and i knew u were waiting :) _

**bigdaddypayno** : u must be tired lyk hell :(

_**badboystark** : u think ?!!! :/_

**bigdaddypayno** : i wish i ws there wid u rn :)

_**badboystark** : ahan u do ?_

**bigdaddypayno** : yah :) so much

_**badboystark** : if u were here.._

**bigdaddypayno** : if i was there?

_**badboystark** : what would you do?_

**bigdaddypayno** : i'd sit ryt behind u nd pull u in, i'd make u sit wid ur back pressd against my chest, nd put my hands on ur shoulders rubbing them gently until u relax ryt into me

_**badboystark** : yeah ?_

**bigdaddypayno** : yeah :) nd i'd lean in nd rest my face in ur neck and just breath

 **bigdaddypayno** : my hands curving around urs as i wrap dem around ur stomach

 **bigdaddypayno** : nd when ur breathing slows down i'd turn u a bit 2wards me until ur facing me. then i'd press my lips against ur forehead nd then against ur lips

_**badboystark** : that'd be amazing :)_

**bigdaddypayno** : nd den i'll lie down with u nd just keep holding u close. just lie with u with ur face hidden in my neck nd think only nd only about us nd how very peaceful the sound of ur breathing is

 **bigdaddypayno** : nd we'd stay lyk dat 4 as long as u want 4 as long as it takes 4 u to feel less tired :)

_**badboystark** : i would really really like that :))))) _

**bigdaddypayno** : good :) u shud cuz

_**badboystark** : cuz ?_

**bigdaddypayno** : i really really like you :)

_**badboystark** : i really really like you too_

**bigdaddypayno** : i like you i like you i like you i do yes i do :)

_**badboystark** : I LIKE YOU MORE :* :* :) _

Doubtlessly, the best moment _and_ the best day of Zayn's life.

—-

Incessant tapping on his forehead is what wakes him up. His eyes flutter open to reveal none other than Louis Tomlinson, who is hovering over him.

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty,” Louis announces, planting a kiss on Zayn's forehead which makes him shove Louis in the stomach, causing him to roll off the bed, right onto the floor.

“Can you please never do that again?” Zayn says, straightening up in his bed and wiping his forehead.

“Aw Zaynie boo,” Louis coos from where he is lying on the floor, not bothering to get up, “I was just being nice!”

“What do you want?” Zayn asks, reaching for his laptop which is lying right beside him.

“I got a little worried when you didn't reply to my texts or answer my calls,” Louis explains, “You know, since I care about you and all that. So I came over to check on you expecting you to be dead or something. At first I was about to have a heart attack since I thought you actually were, but then you do sleep like a dead dog so... Here we are.”

“What texts?”

“The seven million texts I've sent you since like five hours ago.”

“Wait- what time is it?” Zayn asks, pulling out his cellphone from his back pocket while his laptop boots up on his lap.

“Ah, I love when this happens!” Louis exclaims from the ground, as Zayn's eyes widen in horror as he checks the time.

“ITS NINE IN THE NIGHT!??!”

“Would have been nine in the morning if I were 12 hours late.”

“Why didn't anybody wake me up?” Zayn says, more to himself than to anybody else. He throws his mobile on the bed somewhere, typing in the password on his computer.

“Your mom had to take the girls for shopping so she isn't back yet. So nobody is home.”

“And how do you know that?”

“She left a note on the fridge, which by the look of complete surprise on your face, you obviously didn't see.”

“Who- how did you even get in?” Zayn asks, confused.

“Oh, through the back window. Trisha should really get the window latch fixed, it's very easy to unlock.”

“You could have called me!”

“What part of ‘you weren't replying to your fucking texts or my fucking calls’ did you miss in my previous speech?”

Zayn just replies with a slight 'oh okay fine' as his IM opens up and the entire Louis breaking in issue just fades away at that. He's a bit down to find no messages from Liam. He lets out a sigh, shutting his laptop back down and putting it away.

“No reply, huh?” Louis asks from below.

“Yeah,” Zayn replies, as he leans across the bed, to pull Louis up.

Louis takes the hand Zayn offers him to get up and then hoists himself on the bed, landing right beside Zayn.

“He is out with his new basketball team,” Zayn explains, “Told me he'd come back home late.”

“So he got selected, then?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, yeah he did,” and Zayn doesn't care if he smiles or if his heart swells with pride when he says it.

“You know, you're completely gone for this guy.”

“Yeah, you've told me like a few million times before.”

“Yes yes I have, and you still haven't done anything about it.”

“I have!! And we are in a relationship. Sort of. Maybe.”

“Right, okay. That's perfect! Soon you'll be sleeping together. Sort of. Maybe. And on the internet, sort of, maybe!” Louis mocks.

“I hate you very much,” Zayn says, his voice laced with nothing but fondness for Louis that even he can't explain, “Now fuck off, I have an assignment to do.”

“Seriously Zee, isn't it time to meet this IM boy?”

“Liam.”

“Yeah, whatever. Even I want to see who this boy is. Niall was about to go on a stalking mission last week actually, I had to stop him. But then I was the one who gave him the idea in the first place. Anyway, point is, it's high time and maybe, _you_ need to meet him now too.”

“I know. It just never comes up.”

“Then, bring it up, maybe?!”

“Don't be stupid Lou,” Zayn looks at him with wide eyes, “What if he says no?”

“Yeah but, what if he says yes?”

“But- what if- what if he's not what I am expecting and everything just gets all messed up and I lose this one thing that I have!”

“Zayn. Exactly _what_ do you have?”

“I- Liam?”

“Was that an answer?”

“Liam.”

“But do you think you _really_ have him?”

“Louis.”

“Because if you think you do, then where even is this going? And if you think you don't, then, where even is this going?”

“I am really hungry. And I have a lot of homework,” Zayn states, hastily getting out of bed. He shakes his head as if he's shaking away all his thoughts, and ruffles his hair as Louis exclaims in the background,

“Aaaand, the first prize for the worst-subject-changer-ever goes to Zayn Malik.”

“I'm _really_ hungry,” he says again, bending down to grab his cellphone off the bed.

“And I was really serious,” Louis counters as Zayn shoves his mobile back into his pocket.

“Serious doesn't suit you.”

“I care about you,” Louis looks up at him, “And I don't want to see _you_ getting hurt. Again.”

“Liam is good for me, he isn't going to hurt me,” Zayn replies, confident of what he's saying.

“How can you say that? You don't even _know_ him!” Louis exclaims in exasperation.

“Okay fair enough, I'll talk to him about meeting. Happy?”

“You will? Promise me! Cross your heart!”

“No,” Zayn refuses.

“Then I don't believe you,” Louis comments.

“Then fucking don't,” Zayn says, agitated as he turns around and walks out the door.

Louis can just get so fucking annoying sometimes. And he knows Louis is right. Absolutely right. Hence, so fucking annoying. He stamps down the stairs, so that his vexation doesn't go unheard by the person who has caused it.

His cellphone buzzes in his pants when he reaches the kitchen. Digging it out of his pocket, he opens up the text message. It's from Louis.

(( **lou**  
_sorry 4 getting on ur nerves. i promise no more liam talk._

 _now b a good zaynie boo & bring me a sandwich on ur way back x_ ))

Zayn just. He swears to god he doesn't know why he even loves Louis so much. (part of the reason could be how louis is the guy who pretends to not give a shit about anything or anyone and yet for you he gets so worried that when you don't reply he literally breaks into your house to check if you're all right.) (yeah maybe that's it.)

—-

Ever since Liam had gotten selected for the basketball team, he hasn't been coming online so much due to his daily practice routines. Zayn doesn't talk to him as much as he used to before, continuous hours go by without a word from Liam. They talk into the night, Zayn sometimes catches Liam online before leaving for school but when he comes back, he has to wait a good four hours to hear from Liam, which is oddly disturbing.

Maybe it's because of the constant nagging of his friends, or maybe it's because he now suddenly has a lot of time to think, that he finally gains up the courage to do it.

To finally bring up the topic that both excited him and scares him the most.

(11:17 am)  
**bigdaddypayno** : u thr?

_**badboystark** : im here :)_

**bigdaddypayno** : up so early on a snday :p vry unlikely of u :p

_**badboystark** : woke up for u , knew u would be home today_

**bigdaddypayno** : m sory i m so busy these days due 2 practis nd evrything :((

_**badboystark** : its ok rly_

_**badboystark** : i miss u so much tho :'(_

**bigdaddypayno** : u shud since all i think about all the time is u

_**badboystark** : liar._

**bigdaddypayno** : no :o honest!

_**badboystark** : ok :'D_

**bigdaddypayno** : u donut :*

_**badboystark** : li i was thinking..._

**bigdaddypayno** : wat?

_**badboystark** : i don't know how to say this and don't get me wrong but_

**bigdaddypayno** : wat zayn?

_**badboystark** : maybe it's time ?_

**bigdaddypayno** : time for what?

_**badboystark:** time for us to meet._

(zayn shuts his eyes close, as he leans back against the headboard. he doesn't think this was a good idea, he suddenly wishes niall or louis were there with him so that they could read liam's reply for him. and if it was a bad one, probably not read it out to him. the familiar beep causes him to open his eyes and with his heart not working properly, he reads.)

 **bigdaddypayno** : oh.

(just oh, zayn doesn't know how he's supposed to decipher this ‘oh’, is it a bad ‘oh’ or a good ‘oh’?)

_bigdaddypayno is typing..._

(fuck fuck no fuck)

 **bigdaddypayno** : finally.

(he's just confusing zayn with every message now.)

 **bigdaddypayno** : i was hoping ud bring that up sinc forever nw

 **bigdaddypayno** : i thnk its time 2 meet too

(holy shit. it's happening.)

_**badboystark** : what ??? really ??_

**bigdaddypayno** : yah babe :) really

_**badboystark** : u wanted 2 meet too ? _

**bigdaddypayno** : YES OBVIUSLY :))))

 **bigdaddypayno** : i wnt 2 c u nd hw all ur tattoos luk lyk nd i wnt to touch ur skin so that i knw u r not just a dream :)

_**badboystark** : i want to hug you and kiss you and i want to hold your hand_

**bigdaddypayno** : im free on friday hw about u come visit then ?

 **bigdaddypayno** : ill msg u the time nd directions by tom :)

_**badboystark:** i can't believe this is happening !!!!_

_**badboystark** : i'm finally going to see you !!!!_

**bigdaddypayno** : i cant believe this is happning :))))

_**badboystark** : fuck i am so excited_

**bigdaddypayno:** nd nervous

_**badboystark** : absolutely terrified_

**bigdaddypayno** : but happy

_**badboystark** : maddeningly_

**bigdaddypayno** : i have no words

_**badboystark** : no words :') omg liam :') :) :) :) _

(it's finally fucking happening.)

—-

Two days until he meets Liam.

Liam had messaged him the time and the directions of the place the very next day they had decided to meet. The directions were to a small eatery in Wolverhampton; where Liam lives. Zayn had been planning to take a train there, but when he shared this idea with Louis, he had received a kick in the shins.

“You're obviously fucking delirious if you think that (1) I'd let you go alone to a foreign place full of strangers and (2) I would want to miss this! Also, I have a car for a reason!”

So they decided to leave on Friday afternoon, at about four and they'd be in Wolverhampton after about three hours according to Louis' estimation, so they'd be there by seven. He was meeting Liam at about seven thirty. Maybe, they'd even stay there a day, in case Zayn wanted to spend more time with him or maybe they'd come back the same day. Who knew.

It was pretty easy to convince their parents since they told them how they were going on a small road trip in order to attend a concert in Wolverhampton. Trisha consented a bit too fast and very easily once she heard that her son was actually going to leave his room and go out with his friends. Niall's dad went into a reminiscing mode, sharing with the boys how in his time he used to be a huge fan of this band and so he completely understood the boys' obsession, they could definitely go. He ended up convincing Niall's mother too so that was an added bonus! Louis' mom was the hardest to bend; Louis was hardly ever home anyway, so she didn't want Louis to just go and disappear for two days straight. A lot of promising, running of errands, babysitting, consoling and persuasion is what it took to finally get her consent as well.

—-

(5:30 am)  
_**badboystark** : liam ?_

 **bigdaddypayno** : gud morning babe :)))

_**badboystark** : good morning to you too _

_**badboystark** : today is the day !!!_

**bigdaddypayno** : i knw , can't hardly wait :)

_**badboystark** : how will i recognize u ?_

**bigdaddypayno** : u wont hav to i will know its u wen i c u ;)

_**badboystark** : and how is that even possible ?_

**bigdaddypayno** : cuz ull b the most beautiful person there

_**badboystark** : oh god liam_

_**badboystark** : u make me blush _

**bigdaddypayno** : nd id vry much like to do that more often ;)

_**badboystark** : lou is here i gtg :((( _

**bigdaddypayno** : hav a gud day @ skul nd dnt tire urself :p

_**badboystark** : u 2 :*_

**bigdaddypayno** : bye babe :*

_**badboystark** : bye miss u :* :*_

And very reluctantly, Zayn shuts his laptop down, picks up his bag and heads towards the noise of Louis honking the car horn.

—-

“What took you so long?” Niall asks from the back, once Zayn has thrown himself into the passenger seat, “Were you wanking?”

“Still sane, Horan,” Zayn answers, bumping his fist with Louis who had been holding it up as a sign of greeting Zayn. Like always.

“You keep telling yourself that, Malik,” Niall comments, and Zayn throws his school bag at him just because he feels like it.

“Asshole,” Niall responds.

“So, do we leave straight from school?” Louis interrupts.

“No!” Zayn says, “We have to stop at my house first!”

“Why?” Louis asks.

“I don't think the 20th century condoms under your bed are of any use anymore, so there's no point in stopping at your house,” Niall pipes in before Zayn can answer.

Louis laughs at that, and Zayn just mutters a ‘fuck you’ at the grinning Niall.

“We can never have a _clean_ conversation in your presence, can we?” Zayn asks.

“The fact that you need to ask that just explains how less you know me,” Niall answers.

“Asshole,” Zayn mutters.

“So why are stopping at your house? And Niall, no.”

“I need to get dressed.”

“This is even better than what I said,” Niall bursts out laughing in the backseat, Louis tries his level best not to join in.

“I am never telling you both anything ever again,” Zayn grumbles, folding his arms over his chest.

“Sorry sorry sorry,” Louis says hurriedly, “It's just that you really don't have anything in your wardrobe that doesn't make you look like a hobo.”

Niall keeps laughing.

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

“Really? What exactly?”

“I don't know yet, but I am sure I do have something good.”

“Basically, you desperately need our help.”

“Basically, no thank you.”

“Admit it.”

They drive in silence for a moment or two, until the school comes into view. Then Zayn says,

“Yeah okay, I need your opinion Louis. Niall, not yours.”

“Don't mention it bro,” Niall says, “I'll help you. We'll just really _really_ have to dig in your closet.”

Zayn groans as Louis pulls up. Maybe this asking for help isn't the best idea. Actually, he knows it isn't the best idea. But (1) now that Niall and Louis know they won't leave him alone and (2) their opinion _might_ actually be helpful and (3) Louis kind of dresses real good.

So at about three in the afternoon, the boys find themselves in Zayn's room, lying among piles and plies of clothes that Zayn is frantically trying out in front of the wall mirror.

Zayn fucking hates his clothes. He fucking hates everything because what the fuck, he just _can't_ decide what to wear. Louis is of no help, since he cringes at everything Zayn shows him and Niall had passed out on his bed the moment he had landed on it. And that's a very very **very** good thing because he seriously couldn't do with Niall's X-rated commentary right now.

After going through five pairs of jeans, and Zayn swears he didn't even know until today that he had five, Louis nods in approval at a light blue pair that is faded and torn at the knees, “Ya this is fine. It _defines_ you.”

Having no time for Louis' deep fashion talk, he quickly moves on to the shirts. He puts on a white button up, Louis rolls his eyes, “No. Way too formal.”

He tries on a black shirt, which clings tightly to his body and shows off his collarbones.

“Nah, looks like you're trying to hard.”

Zayn looks in the mirror and he has to agree with Louis. Next, he pulls on a blue plaid, to which Louis responds with a solemn shake of head, “This isn't you.”

Zayn doesn't know what that means but he willingly takes the navy Ralph Lauren Polo, with a red logo, that Louis is handing him. He pulls it on and turns to Louis for approval. Louis scans him from head to toe, “Okay now this is too casual, but the color kinda suits you. Fasten the third button, leave the rest unbuttoned... Hm. So what do you think?”

Zayn turns to the mirror. He looks just, okay. Not bad, but not gorgeous either. This won't impress Liam.

“Isn't this like, very simple?” he asks Louis.

“You look good,” Louis says, “Doesn't make you look desperate since it shows how not much of an effort has been put in, it's just on the verge of-”

“Yeah okay okay I get it,” Zayn says, “But I just- something that covers my arms maybe.”

“Insecure of the tattoos are we?” Louis asks, walking towards Zayn's closet anyway.

“I just- you know. I just don't want him to see them just yet.”

“There is no need to be so afraid, Zee. If he has to like you, he will like you with your twenty thousand tattoos and your ninety thousand flaws.”

“Sometimes I just can't believe you're the same guy who danced with his bum out in front of the visiting school right in the middle of the football field.”

“There are lots and lots of layers to an onion, Zayn.”

“Yeah okay, Onion.”

“Okay try this on, and then wear this over it.”

Louis hands him a white Jimi Hendrix T-shirt, coupled with a black button up. Quickly, Zayn changes into the clothes, and turns to look at the mirror. Louis claps his hand in approval, strongly reminding Zayn of Safaa who reacts the same way whenever he buys her band tshirts.

“Perfuckingfect!!” Louis exclaims.

Zayn looks in the mirror and yeah, perfuckingfect indeed. Thank you, god! (and louis.)

—-

It's when he's in the car, Arctic Monkeys blasting off the stereo, ringing in his ears, making his brain buzz, that all the dreadful thoughts swim into his mind.

What if Niall was right? What if Liam isn't.. _Liam_? What if there is no Liam and somebody from school was playing a prank on him? He can literally count the people who hate him that much, but nobody hated him enough to waste eight months of their life on him. Right? He's such a fucking idiot, he should have at least asked Liam for a photograph. Or even his mobile number so maybe he could've checked his WhatsApp for a profile picture. Or his Facebook. Just anything. But no. He had to just be a fucking psycho and believe so blindly in whatever was happening with him. How will he even know who's Liam? If Liam is even real, that is. What if he goes to the wrong person? Or what if Liam doesn't show up? Even worse, what if- no Zayn doesn't even want to think about it but if- what if Liam _is_ real and was just having a laugh all along?

Okay. Even thinking about that floods his heart with pain and he just needs to stop thinking. He needs to-

“Yeah yeah, poke a hole through your jeans, they aren't torn enough,” Louis voice stops his incessant thinking.

“What?” Zayn asks, confused.

“If you keep tapping your thigh like that, you'll poke a hole through your jeans,” Niall says, his head protruding out from the gap between the two front seats.

“Oh,” Zayn says, he didn't even know he was doing that.

“It's going to be okay mate,” Niall's assures him, “If it isn't, I swear I am not coming back without kicking some ass!”

“Yeah, it's been ages since we last did that anyway, yeah Niall?” Louis asks.

“I hope you won't have to kick any asses,” Zayn mumbles.

“We hope so too mate,” Niall says, “We are here for you. I just want you to know that.”

“Can never forget,” Zayn replies, cracking a grateful smile that only he'll ever know about.

—-

Every single part of his body is buzzing with nervousness. It's like his existence is on fire, and he'll burst with tension at any moment when he enters the eatery Liam had given him the address of.

It's a simple place, not too fancy, local yet not crowded. There are coffee tables for two on one side, and bigger tables with more chairs on the other side. Louis and Niall are right behind them, and he knows that just like his, their eyes are also raking the entire restaurant.

“I don't think he's here yet,” Zayn mutters to whoever's nearest to him, swallowing the lump forming in his throat.

“It's seven forty five,” Niall checks his watch, “He said seven thirty, he bloody well should be here.”

“Zayn.”

It's Louis, and his voice comes out slow and contained, like he wants to shout and rejoice about something, but he's controlling it.

“Yeah?” Zayn asks, glancing at him.

“I think that's him,” Louis points at a corner.

Zayn's eyes follow the direction and his heart, his brain- everything short circuits.

There's this boy. He's sitting at a table of four, right in the corner. He is wearing his light brown hair up in a mohawk, and he's biting his nails. He's alone, and he's muscular; Zayn can tell because the black T-shirt is stretched across his shirt and his biceps are very visible since he didn't bother to cover his arms or his tattoos. Yeah, Liam had mentioned tattoos. Yeah. He is typing furiously on his cellphone, not looking up, but the way his left leg is jittery and his foot is tapping convey how fucking nervous the boy is feeling. Zayn can empathize.

“What are you waiting for? Go!” Louis nudges him.

“What if he's not Liam?”

“Just go and ask if he is! If he isn't, he isn't going to eat you!”

“Yeah but-”

The potential-Liam looks up, he looks to his left and to his right, scanning the place. And then he looks at the entrance, and his eyes meet Zayn's.

Zayn swears everything starts spinning. And it's just those eyes that keep him grounded and standing on his feet.

The boy keeps staring, his eyes moving from Zayn's eyes to roam around his face. A smile appears on his face. And if his eyes weren't enough for Zayn to handle, the boy's smile just extracts his soul from his body and Zayn can literally see it soaring up towards Satan.

“What're you even doing?” Louis whispers loudly. “GO FUCK, GO ALREADY.”

And if Louis hadn't pushed Zayn, Zayn probably wouldn't have had the ability to take a step forward.

 _it's happening he's real it's happening he's real oh fucking hell he's real yes_ his subconscious chants as he makes his way towards _hopefully_ Liam.

Up close, Liam is- the boy is- he's more than what Zayn had hoped for.

“Hey, you,” the boys says standing up to greet Zayn.

And if he had heard angels sing, that is exactly how their voice would've sounded like.

“Hey,” Zayn replies, and he hadn't realized his mouth had gone so dry.

“It's you, isn't it?” the boy ( _liam please liam_ ) asks.

“Depends on who you think I am,” Zayn says, amazed at how he's still capable of forming words.

The boy chuckles, and his eyes they do this thing were they just disappear into his face as he laughs and fucking hell, he is a fucking miracle!

“Badboystark, yeah?” the boy says.

Zayn wants to fall down on his knees and thank God right now. Because (1) Liam is real and (2) Liam is- Liam is so fucking beautiful, Zayn might just die.

“Bigdaddypayno,” Zayn affirms, when he finds his voice.

Liam smiles like Zayn has given him the moon or something because his face lights up and his eyes twinkle with genuine relief, and he just looks like a fucking wonder of the world, Zayn can write a fucking book and like three or four sequels about this boy. And he hasn't even touched him yet.

“Stupid username I know,” Liam says, “Made that when I was like seven or something.”

“You told me,” Zayn tells him. What a stupid thing to say oh my god, he could have just laughed and let it go! Why does he even have a tongue, what is he even doing with it?

“I did yeah, I just- I don't know what to say, it's like I already know you, you know,” Liam starts.

“I know,” obviously he knows, he can't think of anything to ask Liam because he already fucking knows everything. This is so-

“So, would you like something to eat or?” Liam interrupts his thoughts which clearly have been all over the place lately and they seriously need to chill.

“I just had a burger I'm sorry,” Zayn says hastily, (fuck his fucking tongue), “Actually Louis stopped at this place and we had a bite, I am sorry. It's okay if you-”

“Hey hey hey, chill babe! It's okay, I ate before coming too. Practice is famishing,” Liam's hand reaches out to touch his and- yeah. What even is English?

“Oh,” Zayn knows he's turning red. His cheeks are burning, even his toes are tingling fuck. What is happening to him?

“Wow,” Liam says.

“What?” Zayn asks immediately, his eyes widening. Did he say something out loud?

“You are very- you are- very beautiful, you know that?”

Liam's gaze is swallowing him whole and he knows his cheeks are aflame, as he shyly looks down, his eyes blinking rapidly, “Oh.”

“And if this is how you're going to look every time I say that, I think I might not even stop.”

They're standing in a place full of strangers, the aroma of fresh hot dogs around them, a corner of a table in between them, and Zayn swears they're somehow somewhere else, alone. He hasn't ever felt like this with anybody before and that's just plain scary. But also dangerously amazing. Exciting.

“So,” Zayn says, Liam's fingers are now threaded into his, so fitting, and there is still space between them which Zayn just detests, “If we are not eating can we please get out of here and like- take a walk or something?”

“Yeah we absolutely can,” Liam smiles brightly at him, “But I texted my friend to come over, since I was sitting here alone having all sorts of horrendous thoughts about you not showing up, so can we wait for him first?”

“Harry?” Zayn asks, and he can't stop smiling.

“Yeah,” Liam nods, “So take a seat, maybe? You can call your friends over by the way, they've been staring ever since you came here.”

Zayn turns around to glance at them, and the two jerks immediately turn their heads away pretending to be busy scrutinizing the cookie display on the counter.

“Yeah, they didn't let me come alone,” Zayn explains as he digs out his cell to text Louis.

“I am glad they didn't,” Liam says from behind, “I don't like the idea of you in a train alone for three hours.”

“I can travel in a train alone!” Zayn turns back to look at him, feigning an expression of being hurt.

“I know babe,” Liam smiles back, “I just don't like the _idea_. Trains are bad places. Not very safe. You know with rapists and kidnappers and everything.”

“Well, you could have been a rapist but I came to meet you didn't I?” it's out of his mouth before he can stop himself, and he blames Niall for this moment.

When Liam laughs at his question instead of getting insulted or hurt (like maybe zayn was expecting him to) does the sudden chaos in Zayn's head calm down.

“You know what, Harry said the same thing about you,” Liam tells him, “I told him to mind his own business for once.”

“Well Louis thought you were a pornstar and well the rapist thing, that was Niall.”

“Who said my name?” Niall arrives, right beside Zayn and Louis right beside Niall.

“I was just telling Liam here,” Zayn explains, signaling at Liam, “how you told me he was a fifty year old rapist.”

“Hi Niall, nice to meet you,” Liam chuckles, putting his hand forward which Niall takes with a huge approving smile on his face.

“Well y'can't blame me! Y'know with all the kidnappers and rapists out there, a friend gotta look out for a friend,” Niall tells Liam.

“I already like you,” Liam says, offering his hand to Louis after, “Hi, you must be Louis. I have heard a lot about you.”

Louis takes his hand and smirks, “And I'll have you know, that all the vile stuff you must have heard about me, is absolutely, one hundred and one percent correct.”

Liam chuckles again, he does it a lot and yet not a lot Zayn thinks. It's a great sounds, it's downright fucking best.

They take their places around the square table, Zayn sitting beside Liam and Niall and Louis taking the chairs facing them. Louis and Niall live up to their true friendship by telling Liam every embarrassing thing about Zayn they can recall. In fifteen minutes, Liam knows everything from Zayn's first sexual encounter with a girl to the time when Zayn had thrown up on this buff looking guy at the only party Zayn had ever attended. Zayn had glared at them but Liam was chuckling and the sound was melodious to his ears.

And Liam's hand, that big hand and those thick fingers, were wrapped around Zayn's thinner ones, tightening every time Liam laughed at him and looked at him and said things like ‘you must have been so cute back then’ or ‘you seriously did that?’ or ‘oh jesus why didn't i know you then!?’ and so Zayn just decided to go with the flow.

Louis is currently in the middle of another story, and Zayn is deciding on whether to kick him in the shins or not when Louis abruptly stops in the middle of the sentence and his eyes go wide as he states at the general direction of the entrance, and he exclaims and questions at the same time, “Holy fucking god, who is that sexy son of a bitch?!”

Zayn turns around, the same time Liam does to see exactly what could have the power to shut Louis up. When his eyes zero in on the guy who has just entered, Zayn understands immediately.

He has a mass of brown curly hair, that are in place and away from his face due to a green bandana he has around his head. And, Zayn would be completely damned if he happens to have a particular color of eyes.

“Oh, that's Harry!” Liam says, and he beckons for the boy to come over.

Harry, in his too tight jeans and too loose shirt, walks towards their table. Zayn turns back to look at Louis to find Niall already smirking at him. Zayn can literally see Louis holding his breath as Harry comes to their table.

He has green eyes.

“Hey Harry,” Liam says, standing up, the boys following his suit.

“Hi hi hi,” Harry greets all of them together, “So which one of you is the infamous Zayn?”

His voice is hoarse, or maybe it's just deep, but Zayn can see the hearts in Louis' eyes already, so he knows it doesn't matter. This is the dream guy Louis had been waiting for, and that look on Louis' face, to witness that is what Zayn had been waiting for.

“That'd me,” Zayn raises his hand a little, “Hello!”

Harry smiles at him, with this innocent childishness etched on his face, “Hi Zayn. You're hot, I approve!”

Liam hits him playfully on the chest, Harry just brushes him off.

“And who are these two?” Harry asks, glancing at Louis and Niall as if they can't see or hear him.

“Zayn's friends,” Liam explains, “Niall and Louis. Also Louis thinks you are a sexy son of a bitch.”

First, Zayn just loses it for a moment because Liam just said the words 'sexy' and 'bitch' in the same sentence and well. That does things to him. Second, his eyes immediately travel to Louis' face to check his reaction at that.

He is smirking, and he's smirking at Harry, while he offers Harry his hand, “Nice to meet you too Harry, and it true. I do think you are mindfuckingly gorgeous. No shame.“

Harry's grin widens into a cheeky smile, and if Zayn thought Harry looked like a child, well you know, first impressions are wrong 90% of the times. That's a fact, that Zayn just made up.

“You're pretty fucking fine yourself, Louis,” Harry takes Louis' hand. “I am glad we met, too.”

They don't let go of each other's hands, and they don't stop looking at each other. Which is just awkward for the other three boys until Niall breaks the trance both boys seem to be in, “So is anybody hungry or?”

Liam is the first to speak, “Me and Zayn, we were headed out for a walk, how about you guys grab a bite or something in the meanwhile?”

“And when will you be back?” Niall asks.

“When do you guys leave?” Liam asks Zayn.

“Actually we can leave whenever until tomorrow night,” Zayn tells him, expecting Liam to express shock or something.

“That's wonderful!” he says instead, turning to Niall after, “Then I can't say how long this will take!”

“How about I show them around, and you guys can have some alone time, and when you're finished just give me a call, we'll pick you up from wherever?” Harry suggests.

“And you're also very intelligent,” Louis comments, “And that's another check.”

Harry grins as Liam nods at him, “Yeah that sounds great, what do you think Zayn?”

Zayn nods, “Absolutely, yeah.” At this point he'd say yes to anything that gets him alone time with Liam to be honest.

“How do we know you're not going to kidnap him and trap him in a basement and ask for ransom?” Niall asks, but he's not serious, there's a ginormous smile on his face.

“Well, you have Harry, so if I trap Zayn in my basement, you can keep him,” Liam says.

Harry is about to open his mouth to protest or something but Louis beats him to it, “You have full permission to kidnap Zayn then, I am definitely keeping Harry.”

Zayn doesn't know how Louis does it. He knows though, that Louis is very _effective_. So effective that Zayn literally sees Harry blush, and lean a little into Louis as they leave the restaurant.

A local restaurant at a foreign place, that Zayn will never forget in his life. Ever.

—-

They're just walking on the footpath and Zayn doesn't know to where. Liam is just leading him, and he's just following him. A car or two pass by them occasionally, the streets of Wolverhampton don't look like a busy area.

Their hands are entwined in between them, Liam's encompassing his and he hasn't let go, not even once. Zayn isn't complaining.

Liam keeps humming under his breath, as they walk in silence, a familiar tune that Zayn wants his synapses to memorize instantly.

“I can't believe this,” Liam finally interrupts the comfortable silence, “I can't believe you are here.”

“And I can't believe you're real,” Zayn admits.

Liam's thumb rubs circles over the curve between his thumb and index finger, as he looks at Zayn and says, “You know all those times, when we were messaging, you didn't have a face. You were this gray faced boy with tattoos all over your body and black hair, but now. Now I have a face. Now I'll think about _your_ face when I'll think about you, and this just makes it so real. So real.”

“I might be in love with you Liam,” it's too fast, too quick, too soon, but it's out of his mouth and he doesn't know why or how, all he's aware of is that he can't take it back.

Liam halts in his steps, they're at a corner of a street now, standing under some billboard that provides them with the only light that is falling on them.

“What?” Liam asks, his hand doesn't leave Zayn's.

A car goes by, honking loudly and then there are more beeps and Zayn curses because if the car had passed a second or two ago, Liam might have never heard what he had just so foolishly blurted out.

“Nothing,” Zayn tries to move away, and continue walking forward. He tries to pull Liam with him, by the hand that Liam still isn't letting go of.

“No, what did you say?”

“I am sorry, okay?”

“That wasn't what you said.”

“I said something very stupid.”

“Say it again.”

“Liam.”

“Zayn, please.”

“I said, I might be in love with you,” Zayn says in one breath.

Then he stares at Liam's face, trying to decipher the expressions. He had been expecting a mask of horror but it's just not there. There's something else etched over Liam's face, and even that expression makes him look nothing else but beautiful. Zayn isn't even exaggerating.

“Come on,” is Liam's answer to Zayn's almost-confession, and he turns away and breaks into a semi(sort of)run, dragging Zayn with him.

They run, side by side, hands still clasped together, the early winds of October against their faces, until they reach a deserted path. There are trees queued up in lines on either side of the path, Zayn hasn't seen a place like this back home. It's quiet, it's peaceful.

The sky and starts stare down at them, as Liam stands facing him catching his breath, and Zayn stands like a dork in front of him, not knowing what to do.

“Listen Zayn,” Liam says, and it's like a fist clenches around Zayn's heart as he readies himself for the worst.

“Yeah,” he doesn't know how he says it, but he does. And even speaking is hurting.

“I am going to kiss you now,” Liam says.

Then his palms are pressed flat against either side of Zayn's face, caressing his cheeks, and his lips are on Zayn's, full and thick and _right_. There is no inch of space between them, Liam's body is somehow in contact with his from head to toe. One of Zayn's hands is on his waist, the other on his chest; the thin black fabric a barrier between his palms and the layer of muscle. He can feel Liam's heart beat against his palm, and he knows his own heart is skipping beats just like Liam's is.

Liam tilts his head a little, caresses Zayn's neck and Zayn takes that as indication to open his mouth to let Liam's tongue invade what's already his. It's heaven, yet it burns. The fiery warmth spreading all over his body as his tongue tries to fight a battle it has already lost. Liam's hands are on his waist now, and Liam is pressing him to himself, as he bites his lip and Zayn moans, the sound echoing around them. Bouncing off the trees, dissolving into the stars.

When Liam pulls back, he still doesn't loosen the death grip he has on Zayn's waist, and Zayn doesn't remove his hand from his chest either. He likes the honest rhythm of Liam's heart beneath his palm. Liam's lips are flushed and glistening due to the wetness under the star light, it's a sight!

“I think I _definitely_ am,” Liam says, his breath still uneven but warm and minty, as it falls on Zayn's lips.

“What?” Zayn asks, his mind is too lost in the sensations that Liam has caused in his body to be able to fathom anything right now.

“I definitely am in love with you.”

Now _that_. That Zayn understands fully. It takes a good twenty seconds of staring at Liam's sparkling eyes for the statement to actually sink in, but Zayn hears it. And his heart, it soars right out of his body and just attaches itself to Liam or something. Zayn is sure. He seriously cannot even feel it beating anymore.

“Yeah?” he finally asks, just to make sure.

Liam pulls him closer, his right arm wrapping around his thin waist while the other hand comes up to stroke under his chin, “I am absolutely sure. You are- just. And I know this is too soon-”

“Too soon,” Zayn repeats, leaning (melting) more and more into Liam's touch.

“We've only known each other for like nine months!”

“Eight and a half.”

“This is too fast.”

“Too fast.”

“And terrifying.”

“So terrifying.”

“But amazing.”

“Very amazing.”

“But you- you just feel right. You feel too-”

“-too real.”

“Yeah and I don't want to let this go.”

“I never want to.”

“I like you too much Zayn, and the things you do to me!”

“The things you do to me.”

“I want to hold you forever.”

“Forever.”

“And I'm only seventeen I know, it's weird.”

“So weird.”

“But you make me happy.”

“Ecstatic.”

“If this isn't love, then I don't want to know what love is. I am so stupid, aren't I?”

“We're both so stupid,” Zayn whispers.

Liam chuckles, Zayn dies a little.

“So?” Liam asks.

“So?” Zayn repeats.

“What do we do now?”

“What should we do now?”

“For starters, we need to kiss again.”

“And never let each other go?”

“Never. I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye tomorrow.”

“Lets not talk about that,” Zayn says, pressing his lips to Liam, only slightly, “Instead, you should show me around some more maybe and we could have fun.”

“Or how about we go to my place, and I show you my room. And then we can just lie there and I can hold you all night just like I've wanted to for a long long time now, and I can show you around tomorrow?”

If Zayn wasn't sure before, he's sure now. He is completely and maddeningly in love with Liam. Hands down, no room for doubt.

“Yeah, that sounds wonderful,” he says before he is pulled in for another kiss, witnessed by the star-dotted sky that spreads endlessly above their heads. And maybe also by the angels, that just might be smiling down at them.

—-

**Author's Note:**

> so, if this was anywhere near good, leave a comment, maybe? :) x 
> 
> tumblr: [ziamasf](http://ziamasf.tumblr.com/) :)


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